People ask this question a lot. I would also get asked this question when I met someone who just lost a child. “I’ve heard that such big changes can end my marriage! Is that true?” Well, yes and no.
Just like having another baby won’t “fix” a failing marriage (we’ve all seen that one, right?) losing a baby or losing 100 lbs does not mean that you will get divorced. It is tough, true. BUT, the advice I give people is that if your marriage is bad, it will probably get worse. If it is good, it will probably stay the same or get better. I don’t want to simplify it and only you both know if your marriage is “bad” or “good” or if it will be bad or good in hindsight. But, losing a ton of weight or having a ton of grief changes people and for two people to come out unscathed there has to be a lot of respect, trust, understanding, and a good foundation to the marriage. If that’s not there, well? I mean, WLS or having a new baby or having a baby die never *fixes* a failing marriage. We can all agree on that, right?
I guess we need to look at the reasons for wanting surgery in the first place. Is it to make your husband jealous? Are you not getting enough attention? Or do you want to be happy and healthy? How do you think that you will react to the new attention you’re getting from people of the gender that you find attractive? (See that I didn’t assume that you were straight! See what I did there? 🙂 ) These are questions to think about before surgery because if you follow the program you WILL lose weight. You may not get skinny, you may not keep it all off, but your self esteem might change and life could get different. Your spouse might feel left out. He/she might feel unattractive now. Maybe you are talking about food and diet and carbs too much and that is boring to him/her.
So, it’s a good thing to wonder about but honestly, I cannot tell you for sure. You’ll have to work at it. But if you already have good communication skills — you’re doing great!